“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Philippians 4:6
I can quote that verse with ease, but when it comes to application? The answer would be a solid NO.
Back in my teenage days, I used to give the heart rate pumps a decent workout with my erratic heart rates, and occasionally garnered a look of concern from a doctor or nurse. Those days are gone, thankfully. As I grow older, I have realized that there is more to be thankful for. I need to forgive myself, learn from my mistakes and move on. God is taking care of me. Basic lessons I needed to learn from the heart.
But what happens when I find myself caught up in my old habits? Opposite of the verse. Anxious about everything.
Why am I so anxious when I have nothing really to complain about? The fog of worry muddles my thoughts to the point all I can think about is myself. What is wrong with me? What are people thinking? Did I do this right? Did I say the right thing? What I am going to do next? Great, I am useless to everyone right now, including myself.
The whirlwind above is the vicious cycle playing inside my head, which impacts my sleep, relationships, food choices, health choices and the list goes on. I attempt everything in my power to fix the anxiousness with my usual tricks. Maybe I can pull myself out of my funk and move on like a good soldier. I can do this right?
But who am I fooling? I was not made to do this alone. I need to let go and know that God’s opinion of me is better than anything. He thinks I am an amazing person, and He knows what is best for me. Can I trust-fall into his arms?
And these are my current thoughts on the day, month, end of the school year. The end of school has honestly always been a bit of a roller coaster of emotions for me. I am excited about summer vacation, but it’s weird not teaching the students I have grown to love over the year. I am also self-reflecting on the previous year and thinking about next year.
So yes, I have all the feels right now, but I am working through it. And it’s summer in Colorado! Seventy and the eighty-degree weather is perfect for all the outdoor sports including running and hiking adventures! And if you live in a hot place. . . well, come to Colorado for a visit!
For now, I hope you, like me, will embrace the joy of the little things and know that we are not alone.